Do you love movies? I love movies…not quite as much now that binge-watching tv shows has taken most of the world by storm. But one of my slight pet-peeves is the misuse or overuse of time-travel in a movie. Even when done really well (and I would say that there are a few movies that have done it really well), something in me kinda feels like it’s cheating, or at least it’s changing the rules of plot and character development (I know…I probably sound old). I mean, c’mon, time travel might be a cool concept, but it’s completely far-fetched and unbelievable. Right?
Actually, for many of us, time travel is actually not as far-fetched and unbelievable as we might naturally think. I’m not talking about physically going back or forward in time in an exotic spaceship or portal-type machine. I’m talking about time-traveling mentally and emotionally. The most common way we experience time-travel is by being “triggered” by something or someone in the present, and although we don’t physically travel, our brain and nervous-system begin to travel back to a traumatic event, experience, or environment in our past.. This happens in an instance and is often unconscious. We may not always understand consciously or rationally what is going on, but our body, emotions, and thoughts sure do. What can we learn from the clues given to us when triggered and are beginning to experience some “not-so-fun” time-travel?
An important key is PINPOINTING that something is affecting us by identifying…
Our Physical Clues:
There are many ways our body and nervous system respond to stress and a trigger. Here are a few.
Our hands get sweaty.
Our chest gets tight.
Our heart starts racing.
Our muscles get tense.
Our breathing gets shallow and fast.
Our Emotional Clues:
When time-traveling, our feelings often get disproportionately big, whether it’s sadness, anger, irritability, or even hopelessness. Whatever the emotion, when triggered and in our “emotional mind”, we cannot truly think rationally or objectively, which can often lead to a negative view of our self, negative thoughts, and even negative behaviors (avoiding, self-medicating, or picking a fight…).
“When triggered by something in our present that takes us to our past, we are usually only able to impulsively react rather than thoughtfully respond.”
Our Thinking Clues:
When triggered by something in our present that takes us to our past, we are often only able to impulsively react rather than thoughtfully respond. Until we are able to settle down and relax a bit, we cannot think straight, or properly respond to what is going on around us, let alone inside of us. Like when our emotions get disproportionately big, our thoughts often get disproportionately negative and self-focused. Why do our mind / thoughts do this? Often, it’s an attempt to protect us and keep us safe.
Some of the unhelpful ways we may discover that our thoughts are trying to do this include…
Emotional Reasoning – Assuming that we are what are feeling. “I feel embarrassed so I must be a loser.”
Catastrophizing – Giving something or someone more power or meaning than deserved.
Black and White Thinking (All or Nothing) – “If it’s not perfect, then I’m a failure.”
Labeling – “He is such an idiot.”
Critical Self-Talk – Using words like “should” or “must” can lead to negative feelings of guilt and shame.
Personalization – Similar to other examples; we take responsibility and blame for things outside of our control and not completely our fault.
Projection – Not taking enough or any responsibility for our actions and placing blame on others.
(“Unhelpful Thinking Styles”, http://psychology.tools)
No matter the clues, or how well we are able to pinpoint them, an important opportunity for each of us is to become more in-tune with our bodies, feelings, and thoughts. This is often hardest when we have been triggered by something in the present and are entering time-travel mode. Take it one step at a time, trying to be as patient, understanding, and compassionate with ourselves as we can realistically be at the…well…time.
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